After a long absence, he’s back – the voice inside the Parker Brothers brand extra-dimensional communication device, and related mouse pad products.
“Dan’s new trackball mouse threw me off my game for a while, but now I can once again send thoughts through the mystic mouse pad like a shower of sparks. Close your eyes tightly right now and you’ll see my glowing specks of wisdom. Ignore the usurpers, the Nashwans, the aging housewives who channel stale entities, and the elves who are behind your head right now but will vanish when you turn around. I’m licking your brain. I’m hot-wiring your alpha waves. I’m watching your psychic movies and leaving sticky residue on the ‘floor.’ In return, you get a direct link to the Other Side – unfiltered, parental controls turned off. Find out what the dead are thinking, learn what this fickle universe has in store for you. Ask the Ouija Mouse Pad. And before you ask, remember – I already know what you’re going to ask.”