To the guy downtown driving the car with hubcaps that spin around while the car is stationary–it’s nifty, but I won’t be impressed till you add whistles and strobe lights. To each LaRouche-ian on a downtown sidewalk with your Obama-as-Hitler poster; you are obscenely bloated with the self-righteousness you feel every time someone correctly calls you a jerk. To the Texas textbook committee members who reduced references to Thomas Jefferson in history books because Jefferson came up with the phrase, “separation between church and state;” I want to be present when you discover that the Universe People movement is the one true religion. Or it might be the ancient Greek religion (Zeus and the gang). Whichever would disappoint you the most. Speaking of the universe; to the physicists who suggested that the nature of the universe will prevent the Large Hadron Collider from ever operating correctly and finding the Higgs Boson–you’ve been spared for another three years before Tom the Dancing Bug’s scenario can be tested. To the people at the European Space Agency; when do we get the photos of the Mars Express fly-by of Phobos? On March 3 it passed within an incredible 67 km of the moon, close enough to see the hairs on the proboscis of a space elephant. I want pictures.
Yeesh. How much curmudgeon-osity can you take?