a sparticle in the gaga storm

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Two delightful new words—new to me anyway—are in a recent New Scientist article and they’ve helped me understand the Lady Gaga phenomenon. Bear with me through the following quotes from the article about what physicists call supersymmetric particles.

Each of these “sparticles” is the partner of a known particle, and they have already solved several cosmological problems, including smoothing the way for a long-sought grand unified theory of physics.

Now two theories suggest that some sparticles might also be components of the elusive inflaton, which is thought to have driven space-time apart at the dawn of the universe.

Also important:

“…in a fraction of a nanosecond after the big bang, the universe expanded from a size smaller than a proton to somewhere ‘between a football and a football field.’”

That’s faster-than-light speed, but it’s legal because space-time itself is expanding.

It occurs to me that Lady Gaga is a media inflaton, suddenly being everywhere in the media universe. My spin class instructor is a Lady Gaga sparticle (LGGS), a component of the Gaga inflaton. Not just because she had “Lady Gaga music day” at last week’s spin class, but since that time, she’s been to Las Vegas to see Lady Gaga perform in person, and this weekend will see her again at the Tacoma Dome. She is feeding the Gaga frenzy, joining throngs of other sparticles to further drive the Gaga inflaton.

Where does this end? Are there an infinite number of LGGS’, fueling an eternal inflaton of heavy eye shadow and purple lip gloss? Scientists can’t say at this time. Experiments at the Large Hype-On Collider in Europe may reveal clues. My guess is that entropy will take its toll, and the Gaga inflaton will gradually weaken and fade in the heat death at the end of current news cycle.

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2 thoughts on “a sparticle in the gaga storm

  1. Yacman

    Dang,
    I think you should lighten up on the drugs. Or, perhaps you should do more. Or, maybe, you just need a vacation. Burning Man anyone?

  2. Dan Green

    I’ve gotten very little sleep lately. The post seemed almost coherent when I wrote it, but not so much in retrospect.

    What I need I can’t get. Burning Man will have to suffice.

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