tangled brains

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Go ahead and name your band “Tangled Brains.” No charge.

Went to the WARP show at the Seattle Center last night and parked near the Church of Scientology. Somehow I missed that they had spent $14 million refurbishing a building in Lower Queen Anne. But it’s hard to miss when you’re in front of it. The facility opened in July. Last night when I walked by there were men in suits coming in and out. Scientologists believe that people are immortal spiritual beings called Thetans and that we need to be cleared of negative energies via purification techniques that can be extremely expensive. In my opinion, this is utterly insane and the whole Thetan concept, and the even more fascinating Xenu story, sounds very much like pulp science fiction from the 1950s.

A few blocks later I walked past a parked van that had evangelical Christian messages all over it. It spoke of Judgment Day; which begins May 21, 2011, in case you were blind to this obvious fact. “The Bible guarantees it.” I found the explanation right here. May 21 is the day the Rapture happens. This Web page is fairly incomprehensible, but let’s go with it for now because it will be fun to see the awkward explanations of why it didn’t happen. My guess is that even before May 21, this group will start dropping hints that maybe, just maybe, the calculations could be off.

I’ve seen this type of back-pedaling before. July 5, 1998, was when the Church of the SubGenius promised the Rupture. All devoted SubGenii were going to be carried off by the flying saucers of the sex goddesses while the earth was fried by men from Planet X. I was there in Brushwood, New York, at the X-Day festivities when the great event didn’t happen. At least as far as I could tell. They may have gotten the numbers upside down, and the actual date is the year 866,157. Another perfectly reasonable explanation, however, can be found right here.

Getting back to last night, as I passed by Key Arena, there were thousands of people pouring into the building, hepped up on Jesus. Buses everywhere, unloading church-goers from around the region. I’m guessing that some of them had rarely or never come into Seattle due to the density of liberal heathens and other demon-possessed city dwellers. The big event was centered around a visit by Pastor Greg Laurie. Here’s the Web page.

At this site I learned that Pastor Laurie believes that gay people are not born gay. Given that he is utterly clueless or willfully ignorant on this topic, who  knows how reliable he is on other subjects? It makes you wonder what other false information he’s promoting. I encourage you to visit this site, where you can find videos of people weeping, people singing along with evangelical rock bands, fireworks blasting off, and Pastor Laurie asking you to bring your unsaved friends to the event.

Christian or Scientologist: religious dogma makes you crazy. The SubGenius, by the way, proudly acknowledge that they are liars, lunatics, and  just want your money. You can trust them.

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