Physician notes from my elbow surgery in early 2009.

“Dissection was carried down through skin and subcutaneous tissue. We immediately identified and encountered dense scar. In the scar plane, we dissected to the level of the triceps muscle…[several sentences of anatomy jargon excised here, just describing how they opened up my arm] … The ulnar nerve was then carved out of scar, starting just distal to the axilla, dissecting through the cubital tunnel and into the forearm. This portion of the procedure alone took an hour to an hour and a half.”

The next operation is coming up. Still I wonder…is it worth it to be able to turn my wrist? The anesthesia, the x-rays, the single dose of radiation to curb additional heterotopic ossification, the healing process, the physical therapy, the probable permanent loss of sensation in part of the underside of my arm? Life is a whole lot worse for other people. On the other hand, I have the insurance now, I have the physical stamina now, I’d have how many years of full wrist motion? Will I come out better or worse in the long run? You decide. I’m tired of weighing the outcomes.


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