I keep by my computer a catalog produced by the Omega Institute of Holistic Studies. It’s a list of last year’s Omega classes and workshops and it’s an endless font of entertainment and blog fodder. Today, for example, I turned the page to “Healing the Light Body School.” For a mere $1,650 tuition you could have become a certified practitioner of energy medicine.
What kind of energy? Well, they don’t really come out and say exactly what the heck they are talking about. But you’ll get hands-on practice as well as “ancient rites of passage” and deep personal exploration. That’s just the beginning. “Learn how to release toxic energies and extract intrusive energies and emotions from the luminous energy field …”
Now we’re getting somewhere. Energy types: toxic, intrusive, and luminous. Here’s one I found on the Web:
I’m guessing this luminous energy field is toxic because it’s green and people are not well when they are green. Nor do people use chlorophyll. My intuition is telling me that this person’s spirit has been compromised by a being from the vegetable kingdom. This man has a spiritual weed growing in his palm and it must be excised.
If I was a certified energy medicine practitioner I’d use an astral scalpel, blade #22, for whittling and scraping. But I’m not, so I’ll just avoid shaking hands with anyone holding a green tribble.