the bible guarantees it

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With only eight days until the rapture, I visited the website set up by Family Radio ministries and clicked on the “Free bumper stickers” link. I was thinking that I might get a piece of history. But here’s what the page says now:

Dear Friends,

With our Lord’s Return such a short time away, we are no longer offering free printed materials since there is not enough time remaining for us to effectively produce and distribute them.

This is sad news. No bumper stickers for those of us left behind. The “Donations” page is still operating as of today, though. Hmmm. The best I could do was download a PDF of a 160-age book called “Woe To The Bloody City.” It’s full of lamentation, quotes from the Book of Revelations,  torture, misery, weeping, gnashing of teeth and worst of all … female pastors. It seems the lord is particularly peeved at women being church pastors. He also hates divorce and remarriage in cases when one spouse is not dead. And homosexuality– doesn’t like it. And so on. I would have liked a bumper sticker that said “Thanks female pastors — you ruined the world.”

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