the greatest of these


Everyone has their favorite moments from the Red Dwarf BBC television series. Here’s one of mine:

RIMMER: Everyone’s entitled to their beliefs, Lister. I never agreed with my parent’s religion, but I wouldn’t dream of knocking it.

LISTER: What were they?

RIMMER: Seventh day advent hoppists. They believed that every Sunday should be spent hopping. They would hop to church, hop through the service, then hop back home again.

LISTER: What was the idea behind that, then?

RIMMER: Well you see, they took the Bible literally. Adam and Eve; the snake and the apple … took it word for word. Unfortunately, their  version had a misprint. It was all based on 1 Corinthians 13, where it  says “Faith, hop and charity, and the greatest of these is hop.” So that’s what they did. Every seventh day. I tell you, Sunday lunchtimes were a nightmare. Hopping round the table, serving soup –we all had to wear sou’esters and asbestos underpants.

I don’t know about the asbestos. Seems like rubber or something waterproof would be more fitting, but this is science fiction and alternate realities and all that, so we’ll let it go. This was the same episode in which the robot Kryten described his belief in Silicon Heaven.

It’s the electronic afterlife. It’s the gathering place for the souls of all electronic equipment. Robots, toasters, calculators. It’s our final resting place.

When Lister expressed his disbelief, Kryten replied,

Then where do all the calculators go?

Kryten ends the discussion with a quote from the electronic Bible:

“The iron shall lie down with lamp.”


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