garden of eatin’

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I just ate the saltiest corn chips I’ve ever tasted, but you know what? It’s okay because it was *sea salt.* Not that crappy fresh-water salt. This was the real thing. Sea salt can’t give you high blood pressure, it can only bring you closer to your womb-ocean-mother. It can only make you glad to be of this earth.

There’s more. These chips were made from *non-GMO* corn, not some twisted monstrosity from the Monsanto devil-labs. My DNA is safe from mutations spawned from some corn-sheepdog hybrid dreamed up in a corporate boardroom.

I’m not done. These chips are made from organic corn. That means organic pesticides instead of chemical pesticides. Organic nitrogen fertilizer instead of ¬†regular nitrogen fertilizer.

This corn was kissed by cows under an open sky a hundred miles from the nearest automobile or smokestack. Harvested by farmers who use rotary dial phones. These chips are gluten-free, certified Kosher, and salty enough to kill a slug from 100 paces. The frickin’ PCC is the only grocery store between the bus and where I live, I can’t help it.

Molded corn pudding:

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