I just ate the saltiest corn chips I’ve ever tasted, but you know what? It’s okay because it was *sea salt.* Not that crappy fresh-water salt. This was the real thing. Sea salt can’t give you high blood pressure, it can only bring you closer to your womb-ocean-mother. It can only make you glad to be of this earth.
There’s more. These chips were made from *non-GMO* corn, not some twisted monstrosity from the Monsanto devil-labs. My DNA is safe from mutations spawned from some corn-sheepdog hybrid dreamed up in a corporate boardroom.
I’m not done. These chips are made from organic corn. That means organic pesticides instead of chemical pesticides. Organic nitrogen fertilizer instead of regular nitrogen fertilizer.
This corn was kissed by cows under an open sky a hundred miles from the nearest automobile or smokestack. Harvested by farmers who use rotary dial phones. These chips are gluten-free, certified Kosher, and salty enough to kill a slug from 100 paces. The frickin’ PCC is the only grocery store between the bus and where I live, I can’t help it.
Molded corn pudding: