avian bums in the u.s.a.


Migratory birds cross our borders with impunity. The Purple Martin. The Osprey. MacGillivray’s Warbler. They breed here. They fly around and eat USA insects, berries, and small fish as if entitled to them. They consume worms that otherwise would have been eaten by USA animals or used as fish bait by USA fisherpeople. These stateless hobos rarely speak English, the official USA language. Some have been known to fly into cars and windows, demonstrating that life means nothing to them. Rumor has it that they are descended from bestial, slavering dinosaurs.

If you are a U.S. citizen and see birds that migrate across borders, please shout at them: “USA! USA! USA!”

A Purple Martin murders a pretty butterfly:


What’s that? You’re talking about immigration,  not migration? Never mind.


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