vitaminwater: sugar water with an ego problem


Who doesn’t like a glass of sugar-filled water once in a while? I’ve been known to occasionally imbibe a bottle of Thomas Kemper root beer or Reed’s Ginger Brew. I’ve never been tempted by the crud called Vitaminwater.

After all, there’s little evidence that taking vitamin supplements is healthy for your average person in the USA (with exceptions for pregnant women and a few others). So why not enjoy some super-cheap, vitamin-free, sugar-free, tap water? FYI – tap water is also free of the currently-deadly substance called gluten. It’s also fat-free, vegan, and usually clear of rodent hair.

So I received some satisfaction when the Center for Science in the Public Interest filed a class action lawsuit against Coca-Cola for allegedly violating consumer-protection law regarding its promotion of Vitaminwater. The CSPI lawyer said, “They added vitamins to crap. And it’s still crap.” The product’s marketing says, “vitamins + water + all you need.” It should have read, “vitamins + water + 33 grams of sugar per 20 oz. bottle is all you need to lap up calories.” That’s fewer calories than root beer, but the root beer isn’t called Kemper Miracle Vitamin Elixir and it doesn’t say “root + beer + snake oil is all you need.”

Off topic: I used to have a press for squeezing oil from snakes. Gave it away when I got tired of snake hunting. It’s good stuff, though, that snake oil. I mixed it with my kombucha tea.


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