open letter to the church of the subgenius

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Are you just a bunch of doddering old weasels now? Probably. I’ve lost touch, so I just subscribed to your email list and “scrubgenius” forum to poke a virtual stick and see if anyone’s awake. What made me get in touch was the sign I walked by yesterday (in the photo below).

You see that? “Raise the dead.” This is a Christian Scientist church. My SubG membership card gives me the authority to smite, to cast out false prophets, and so on, which I have performed with gusto for more than 15 years. Why not raise the dead? You think I haven’t tried? Sure I have. Can’t do it. What the hell is wrong with me and my holy magnificence? More to the point, what’s wrong with this frickin’ “church” I still belong to?

jealous

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