I consider it a good sign when I find a Jack Chick comic at a bus stop, in a restroom, or some other random location. This weekend I found one called “Bewitched,” and it’s a keeper. I think an invisible comic being in the sky is looking out for me.
Here’s what I learned:
- It seems that the devil really exists and “Bewitched” is his favorite old TV show because it paved the way for all the “occult and vampire programming” we see today. Such programs are dragging people into the clutches of evil.
- Right now, down in the bowels of Hell, the devil is also celebrating because ouija boards are selling like hotcakes. I know, it seems unlikely that ouija boards are a hot ticket item (instead of, say, phones and tablets), but what the heck. The Father of Lies wouldn’t deceive me about this.
- Astrology books are are hugely popular, and also sucking souls into Hades. Haw haw! Beelzebub is pleased. (It’s hard to find a Chick comic that doesn’t include a hearty “Haw haw!”)
- There’s a ray of hope, however, because in this comic a young woman is saved from Lucifer’s clutches just before she dies. You know what kills her? “A massive heart attack from an LSD flashback.” Massive heart attacks from LSD flashbacks must be one of the leading causes of death in the U.S. today, so at least this part is totally believable, eh?
One lesson is that astrology and vampire movies lead people to use hallucinogenic drugs. Interesting that LSD is the drug of choice instead of crud like meth and heroin. The devil moves in mysterious ways. Another point is that drugs and astrology condemn a person to eternal torture in an afterlife. Therefore; repent!
I wonder if beer and yoga would have the same result? Ecstasy and pilates? Prozac and palm reading?
I Googled “beer and yoga” and came up with this photo, courtesy of the Beer Guru’s Guide.