1. Read our website, Lords of the Orion Nebula
I may have mentioned this before, but there is a welcome message to ET on the Internet; because she, he, it, or they might be browsing the web, doing keyword searches to locate messages for them.
In case visitors don’t already know what they are, the site helpfully informs them: “… we realize that you could be present in the form of an extraordinarily advanced interstellar probe or alien robot or superintelligence.”
When the site mentions our planet, it says “planet Earth (‘terra’).” Maybe if the English-reading aliens don’t recognize Earth, they’ll see “terra” and say, “Oh, that place. Of course.”
When providing reasons to contact us, the site says, “You might enjoy the experience of interacting with humans and feeling bonded and connected with them. You might find this experience interesting, illuminating, even joyful.” They might also enjoy the experience of placing bets on how long we can survive in a vacuum.
Finally, it informs the aliens that “You may have some major reason for avoiding a dialogue with humanity at this stage.” True. Maybe even a minor reason. Maybe reading that page was enough.
This is the Earth flag, which I discovered on the alien contact site. Looks like a PAC-MAN trying to swallow a blueberry.
2. Do time travelers tweet?
Astrophysicist Robert Nemiroff and friends searched the Internet, Facebook, Twitter, and so on to see if anyone had posted information about the future before that future had arrived. They also posted a message requesting that someone go back in time and respond to the message before they had posted it. So far, they’ve come up short. The time-traveling rascals are just playing hard to get.
3. Does the Other Side have Wi-Fi?
Here’s my request. If anyone in heaven, hell, limbo, purgatory, Brahmāloka, Tian, Omeyocan, Waka-maru, or the astral plane is reading this, please respond with proof that you’re there. In return, I’ll bring as much hell money as I can stuff in my pockets when the time comes.