you too, lobsters?

Standard

“When you live on the fringe of science and reason, conspiracy theories are your bread and butter. You need some reason to explain why the mainstream scientific community does not endorse your version of reality. It can’t be that the evidence doesn’t support your position, so it must be a conspiracy.”
 – Steven Novella. M.D.

Joining the conspiracy of climate scientists across the globe, now lobsters are making it look as though the oceans are warming. They’re moving north to cooler temperatures. They must have accepted a payoff from government in the form of tasty little fish and mussels.

lobster-750841_1280

Crustaceans cannot be trusted.

They aren’t alone, however. Birds are joining them. Lots of evidence of that. They’ve thrown their lot in with the global warmists.

And at least 1,340 other species have gone over to the government-coordinated conspiracy.

In other news, the earth has turned in the hottest July in recorded history. It joins record-breaking temperatures that have crowded into the past ten years. NASA must be faking the data. Never mind July, however. The Earth is currently on track for the hottest year on record. When was the last time we had a hottest year on record? Let’s see, that would be 2014. The 10 hottest years since we’ve been keeping track of them have all occurred since 1998. As if the world was getting warmer. Ha.

Oh yeah, and glaciers are melting faster than ever measured, Arctic sea ice is melting at record rates, and Antarctic and Greenland land ice is melting at record rates. Just to make it look like it’s warmer! Someone is putting toasters under the ice.

Let’s tally this up. First and foremost, the global warmist conspiracy includes almost every climatologist on the planet. Plus an awful lot of oceanographers, botanists, wildlife biologists, zoologists, ecologists, glaciologists, and geologists. It’s a worldwide plot, from North America to South America to Asia to Australia – they are all in on it.

We’re not done yet. Now add their plant and animal minions – birds, mammals, reptiles, and plants. Don’t forget those lying bastards, the lobsters! How the warmists managed to enlist glaciers, Arctic sea ice, Antarctic land ice, and Greenland land ice is as yet unknown. Sea level rise and ocean acidification strongly indicates that the oceans are part of the plot, too.

It’s pretty much everything you’d expect if the planet was actually getting warmer. A dozen different disciplines converging on the same conclusion with evidence independently gathered worldwide. Insidiously clever, eh?

It wouldn’t be the first time. That’s how we ended up with evolution by natural selection.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “you too, lobsters?

  1. Hello again. Whereas, the climate worldwide may be getting warmer, it is not evident that this is due to CO2. There are many inconsistencies in the facts which contradict this theory. Here are several. From the 1970s to the 1990s C02 production was at record highs, while scientists still worried about global cooling. Far greater levels of C02 have been present throughout the world’s history without apocalypse . After all, here we are. Historical records also show that CO2 levels follow rising temperatures rather than precede them. Singling out CO2 to label as a pollutant in not justified by research. Here’s more: http://www.forbes.com/sites/peterferrara/2014/02/24/the-period-of-no-global-warming-will-soon-be-longer-than-the-period-of-actual-global-warming/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s