“When you live on the fringe of science and reason, conspiracy theories are your bread and butter. You need some reason to explain why the mainstream scientific community does not endorse your version of reality. It can’t be that the evidence doesn’t support your position, so it must be a conspiracy.”
– Steven Novella. M.D.
Joining the conspiracy of climate scientists across the globe, now lobsters are making it look as though the oceans are warming. They’re moving north to cooler temperatures. They must have accepted a payoff from government in the form of tasty little fish and mussels.
And at least 1,340 other species have gone over to the government-coordinated conspiracy.
In other news, the earth has turned in the hottest July in recorded history. It joins record-breaking temperatures that have crowded into the past ten years. NASA must be faking the data. Never mind July, however. The Earth is currently on track for the hottest year on record. When was the last time we had a hottest year on record? Let’s see, that would be 2014. The 10 hottest years since we’ve been keeping track of them have all occurred since 1998. As if the world was getting warmer. Ha.
Oh yeah, and glaciers are melting faster than ever measured, Arctic sea ice is melting at record rates, and Antarctic and Greenland land ice is melting at record rates. Just to make it look like it’s warmer! Someone is putting toasters under the ice.
Let’s tally this up. First and foremost, the global warmist conspiracy includes almost every climatologist on the planet. Plus an awful lot of oceanographers, botanists, wildlife biologists, zoologists, ecologists, glaciologists, and geologists. It’s a worldwide plot, from North America to South America to Asia to Australia – they are all in on it.
We’re not done yet. Now add their plant and animal minions – birds, mammals, reptiles, and plants. Don’t forget those lying bastards, the lobsters! How the warmists managed to enlist glaciers, Arctic sea ice, Antarctic land ice, and Greenland land ice is as yet unknown. Sea level rise and ocean acidification strongly indicates that the oceans are part of the plot, too.
It’s pretty much everything you’d expect if the planet was actually getting warmer. A dozen different disciplines converging on the same conclusion with evidence independently gathered worldwide. Insidiously clever, eh?
It wouldn’t be the first time. That’s how we ended up with evolution by natural selection.