The following phrases are no longer allowed.
The following phrases are no longer allowed.
I was lucky enough to get a transcript of a high-level corporate meeting in which some important decisions were made about interface design and user experience. Let’s listen in:
Marketing Specialist: “Here’s my idea. When someone starts to read an article on our site, a message will pop up that blocks the reader’s view. The message will say, ‘Sign up for alerts when we publish new stuff.’ And the poor reader can’t get rid of the message unless he signs up or clicks a checkbox to make the message go away.”
Executive: “But won’t that irritate people? Won’t they associate our brand with an unpleasant feeling?”
Marketing Specialist: “Yes, but most importantly, they’ll remember you. And along those lines, do you recall our last meeting, when we discussed how to annoy with video?
Executive: “Of course.”
Marketing Specialist: “There’s a way to make video and audio automatically begin playing when you visit the site, whether the viewer likes it or not.”
Executive: “So if someone is in a public place like a library, the sound will disturb everyone?”
Marketing Specialist: “Exactly.”
Executive: “I love it. Although it seems both stupid and counterproductive, I’m sure you know best. You’re the consultant.”
Marketing Specialist: “Well, I have one more idea, but it’s just for phones.”
Executive: “Go on.”
Marketing Specialist: “Let’s construct our mobile site in such a way that after someone starts reading, an image will load up above the text and push everything down. That way the reader will lose her place and have to search for where she left off.”
Executive: “Could we fix it so that happens more than once, so readers lose their place over and over again? Hey, I think I’m starting to get the hang of this!”
Marketing Specialist: “That’s brilliant. I think we could do that, yes. I’ll look into it.”
Executive: “See that you do. I’m starting to get jazzed about this. I’m getting smart. For tomorrow – let’s think of ways to have advertisements follow people from page to page.”
Marketing Specialist: “Yes. Like fleas on a dog. You’re going to put me out of work.”
Executive: “Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha.”
Here’s a shout out to Futility Closet, a fine podcast that presents something mysterious, quirky, or unusual each episode. And puzzles. I bet the co-hosts didn’t suspect that listening to them challenge each other with lateral thinking puzzles would be so entertaining for listeners. But it is. Interesting webpage to go with the show. Also on Facebook.
You Are Not So Smart (A Celebration of Self Delusion); another excellent podcast. If you’re interested in psychology, behavior, habits, memory, and the like, this one is a treat. Expert guest speakers, cogent commentary, and cookies. Here it is. Also on Facebook.
I’m trying to rededicate myself to getting ready for the Seattle to Vancouver bike ride in August. For the rededication, I’m pulling out this dorky old psychedelic tune from 1968. Even though I was big Yes fan, and Steve Howe is in this band, I hadn’t known about “Tomorrow” until today. Heard it on KEXP.
My bicycle is gray/black.
You ask to me sign in using Facebook or some other data-gathering empire.
You make me click through a bunch of pages to read all the info that could easily go on one or two pages.
I see pulsing, moving, distracting ads. I realize this is a conundrum regarding advertisers and the existence of sites, but I’m just being honest here. I won’t bother with the content amidst all the distraction. There are a million other interesting web pages out there.
Your headline features words like “amazing,” “fantastic,” “shocking,” or “unbelievable.”
But I will visit if …
I’m often still a sucker for the 10 best, 10 ways to, etc., headers. So if none of the above apply, I might click on a “five ways to guarantee free chocolate chip cookies” headline. By the way, if you give blood in Seattle, you’re likely to get free Cougar Mnt. choco chippers. Just saying. Also, just saying that I won’t go to sites that say “Just saying” all the time.
OMG. ROFL. Holy Toledo. A new website is born. And it presages the greatest animal-spirit-guide-oracle-card event in history.
The card decks, stuffed with magic and packed with celestial animal soul power, should be available by the end of October. Check back frequently at this location:
The card deck of the future, and of the deep past. These 35 cards will rock the very foundation of the animal-spirit-guide-oracle-card industry.
The invisible hand of the market will place a deck in your pocket when you aren’t looking.